As I saw it...

PROLOGUE


Love is a silent dreamy killer,
love kills you when you are in love,
it kills even if you are not.
people die for love,
people die in love,
still,let love forever be loved!


THE DREAM


One night, a lady came to me,
she smelled of life,she smelled of love,
she spoke,"Can i talk to thee?"
"Sing",whispered i,"Sing,you seraphic dove!"

"You're such a lovely man,so true,so nice!",she began,
"Why you live here,all alone,in a disarray?"
"B'coz i've nowhere to go,so here i remain."
She replied,"If you trust me,i'll show you the way."

"Cross the desert,come to the other side,
I'm yours and waiting,i"ll forever be."
"I'll" i replied,took not a moment to decide.
She smiled and before she left, she whisperd,"You and me!"


So,tired from the rest of the world,
I dragged my bleeding feet,
and following what the glorious lady told,
I left my old sodden,living street.


Those few coins,in my pocket tattered,
could not buy me a coat new,
so wearing the same threads scattered,
I looked upwards,into the sun shining true.

There was no one to say good bye,
so i never looked back again.
Nobody knew me,so i was not at all shy
to take a chance and get wet in the falling rain.


THE JOURNEY


One coin got me a ticket for the trip,
saved another for i never knew what?
And Ah!all the lashes of this life's whip
I thought,were behind in the dirty cart!

Before the journey started,the captain blarted,
"I have to know,why have you all chosen,
to leave behind your lives well defined and equated,
and take this expedition?i call it peregrination."

"Going for the mines across the desert.",one man said.
"life's just a journey",a sailor murmered.
The weeping man said,"Just b'coz i want myself dead."
Everybody replied.Some sourly hated life,some sweetly savoured!

At the end, the skipper turned to me,
"Young man,why do i see you here?"
"For love.",i replied.""Can't you see?"
"I'll cross this desert and my love will be there!"

The captain lokked down and gave a wry smile.
And finally the prayers were said and the journey began.
The camels trundled tirelessly, mile after mile.
And only God knew what was sane and what insane!

While my heart was dreaming of my beckoning angel,
my hands fishing for her lovely touch,
caught a feather which perhaps from the heaven fell!
And this omen,to my being,meant-ah! a lot much!

That white,moonlight washed,gentle,velvet feather,
woobled in my hand,shivered in the dry gust,
and my heart twitched,how could i let my love suffer,
when i had long back given my much trusted trust.


So, I gently put it in my breast pocket,
kept it close to my singing heart!
The captain,meanwhile,his steely eyes set,
was staring into the worlds set far apart!


The camels kept plodding their way,
deeper into the heart of the desert,
and the night was fast descending in dismay.
The captain shouted,"Enough for a day's effort."

The trumpet blew,the caravan came to a halt.
My heart flinched and my soul wept,
I cursed the skipper for his fault,
in the barren desert, a devil slept.

Under the moonlit sky,the falling cold,
I was raising my love's tender crop,
And again and again my zahir sobbed and told,
Isn't it strange that life loves to stop?

One fire blazed and crowd got merrier,
Another fire burnt,i was on the smoking pyre,
The pain the pang seemed remotely familiar.
'cos the second fire was my flaming desire!

A gypsy boy,on his wodden tambouine,
broke into a lover's strain of melancholy.
He sang to the glory of his holy feminine
I could ony admire 'cos mine was that story.

Slowly and slowly,life stopped to stir,
Morpheus blessed and the party welcomed the change.
All is not bliss,bliss is the sleeping colour,
but will you call a lover not sleeping strange?

For the first hour,my friend was the moon.
when he left,I was left with the stars,
whole night they danced and the night ran soon,
And finally,came the morn, healing my scars!

Behing the dunes came the shy orange ball,
stumbled upon the daisy clouds scattered,
I smiled in love,it finally heard my call!
And spilling my rising hope,my tent I lowered.


THE HOPE


In the distance,I saw the ol' rugged captain,
He was searching into last night's smoulderin' wood,
I walking to him,said in my fumblin' fashion,
"Last day of the journey, fine day,finer mood!"

He didn't look up,nor did he even grimly respond,
but smiled as a wizard smiles on a fool's query.
Dug his hand deep and got a fistful of glittering sand,
said,"This yellow earth,i don't know,when gets fiery!"

"Wish and pray and beg is all we can do,
but can't command it to rest in peace,
so my son,offer a prayer,let your head bow,
coz swimming through sand,is a poisoned chalice"

I listened with all my diminishing courage,
but my heart never belived his words timorous,
'cos nothing stops when love is one's carriage.
"I'll cross this dersert,let things get precarious."

So I crawled up upon my camel's humpy back.
The caravan was edgy but still ready to continue,
As i heard something, far away in the distance crack,
I welcomed the sunshine,filtered by the clouds few!

Brought with them, the sweet winds hitting my face so gently,
the smell of my lady,so far but now just a little away,
for meeting whom,i was dyin',waitin' so intently,
and now when the time was coming, I let myself carelessly sway!

I was singin' a love song which I never learnt,
dreamin' and livin' and dyin' in a world I never saw,
hearin' the winds and answerin' messages she never sent,
who knew, that the yellow ocean was about to raise its claw.


THE CURSE


Up ahead at the top of the merrilly movin' caravan,
shouted the captain, a call of distress,
"Storm is comin',storm is comin',storm is comin'"
And in the sunshine beatin', i heard my mistress.

There were shouts, shouts of disbelief, shouts of fear,
shouts of death, shouts of pain, shouts of dispair,
and amid all these, i roared in rage, in anger,
I could not believe, that it happened, with the end so near.

And then I saw the beast of terrible terrible storm,
coming towars us riding the wings of devil,
with that look of death, that horrible windy scorn,
that caesious storm.Oh that day of the evil!

Gone was the sun, sand filled up the mighty sky,
like a million needles, it blinded my sight,
to my left it roared,to my right it thundered nearby,
people were flying and broken.Ah! its mighty might!


It twisted and turned,it rode high and high,
the daggers of sand cut deep and i bled my blood,
blood and pain was all around and death's eerie cry,
and the sand flowed as a river in spate and flood.

It snatched and bit at my rugged old coat,
and suddenly i remembered that message of my love,
there were tidal waves to cross on that broken boat,
and I heard her saying,its time that faster you drove.

I smiled and nodded to the message that was never there,
letting my eyes go blind,started groping my way ahead,
tasted blood and crawled with twisted bodies near,
and mused for a moment,what it felt to be dead.

i saw the man who wanted to mine gold,
half burried in the creeping sand,
dead, he was clutching what will never be sold,
was a handful of yellow worth his life's end?

then there was the weeping man who wanted to die,
and when death came with arms wide spread,
he was running to live and constantly and deny,
was that the deaths great glorified dread?

and then from the ghost's belly came death flying me,
i wasn't dead but something exploded on my face instead,
was pehaps a saddle which or the broken branch of some tree,
i lost control and worms crawled inside my head!

the putrid smell of gorish crimson,
which ran quickly into the thirsty sand,
brought me on my feet again,
the storm was over Nd i alone began my errand.

the horses were all dead, the camels somewhere burried,
ploddig my woobly steps, into sometheng i stumbled
i knew that man i knew that face, though badly trampled-
the skipper's face defiant even when his body he surrendered.



the solitude

but i alone and broken, dragging my trembling feet,
against the sand smouldering and my wounds bleeding,
but as the desert ended and the sun took a tired retreat,
behind the oasis palms,my eyes started searching.

mad with unbridled joy and brimming with poetic love,
i ran around-here and there, searchig everywhere,
trying to feel and smell and ah! behold my love,
why didn't the skies command,to go elsewhere.

i searched the heaven, i searched the hell,
there was not a place that was there and i didn't see,
and when my hopes finally to the chasms fell,
i saw a distant shadow glowing in the wee.

There she was, close and kising a man,
the man was not me not like any of us,
his white wings shone as if made of silver sun,
and again in her eyes i saw love,i saw trust.

specchless at this unforgiven sight,
i fumbled for some words to speak,
in an instance all my life's light,
was shoved.and i was a stupid lovestruck freak.

she saw me and it was she who spoke first,
with a smile and with no regret and no pain,
"you had my love, you had my trust,
but you know a lady'heart has an undulating terrain."

"you took just too long to come,
you are so good so sweet so pure so true,
but always sweet is a distant blazing drum
and i am the ear and the drum is you."

You'll always remain in my heart,
but an angel i needed, do you know?
you, too bad were not an angel,right from the start."
What did i do? i just let the tears flow.

i said good bye to her and hers,
its different that she had no time even to reply,
i wished her togetherness for life's winters and summers,
and once again i was under the killing sky.

"where do i go?"was the only question,
my feet burried deep in sand which i didn't refrain,
i remembered my dirty and stoic street,
and its only me who laughs in pain!



EPILOGUE

when love makes you walk,
when loves makes you dream,
when love makes you see,
and when love makes you hear,
don't walk a lot,
don't dream too big,
don't see roses bloom,
and don't hear love songs.

walking alone

Thursday, January 04, 2007

The road was darker yesterday,
its a lot darker today.
They say that your shadow walks with you always,
but my shadow doesnt't,
it left me at the last lamp post.

Its not the road which,
I was destined to walk.
But now its the road I walk,
without my shadow.
mirrors lie to me,
I don't know how i loook.
All i can today see,
is that I exist.
Can the mirrors tell how?


Not that i've not seen,
the golden days,the sunny fields.
I once was a man,
who had a name,
though an odd one but a face,
and what the world calls fame.
I knew to dream,
I knew to smile,
but the boiling stream,
left my soul burnt.

I was climbing higher and higher,
towards roaring heights,
reaching for the sun.
And then,then for all,
I had the greatest fall.
There was nothing to stand upon,
no place to call my own.
The sun which I used to stare at,
now blinds my eyes.

And since then, that day,
I have forgotten to fly,
i have been walking on roads.
With a broken stick in my hand,
and now its either ice or sand.
Those who were once,
glad to be called my friend,
now call me a losing fiend.

Today as i walk on this empty street,
I ponder whether i'd carry logs on my head,
how will earn my bread?
once i though that my collar would be blue,
now i dream of just a collar,
a piece of cloth upon,
my life long forlorn.

All alone i've walked
with the onus of walking,
walking alright, but i don't know,
I’m going where.
walking alright, but i don't know,
why they laugh at me.
should i keep walking?
well, walking alright, but I don't know.