dead spider

Open your eyes- the spider is casting a web around your nostrils. The fine silk has now started to choke you. Wipe it clear. Pick up your bloody hand and smash that black ugly piece-don’t worry about the blood. I don’t know if their blood is red but it would be better if it is. Less of a mess, my blood always spills around so another red spider blood would just be fine. No trouble at all- it was red! Do I feel better? Yeah perhaps yes. But on second thoughts, do I ? I wish there was somebody around who could just keep a close watch on all the air coming in and going out and tell me if it got any better with one more smashed spider sticking out with the peeling paint on the wall. But I also wonder whether I am holding up air in m lungs. Have I been holding up since I stated breathing? What if I actually am? Maybe the lungs would burst the way those balloons went when I pricked them on my 10th birthday. Yeah. In fact that would be good too. The explosion might just clean all the paint and the plaster that keeps peeling off and falling every second. I have got sick of all this dust around. Maybe when the explosion brings them down I would get covered with dirt but I would take bath and clean myself. When did I last take bath? Let me remember…this is 2007. Last year was fucked up. I didn’t, I remember for sure. Maybe the year before that, I had a bath. But I don’t think I cleaned myself that time too. What fucking shit, lemme check the notebook- Ah! What bullshit. It just reads 1987,88,89,90,91,92,93,94,95,96,98,99 and 2002. it has really been long! Let me scratch my skin and check- where is the blade? Whore! I lost it! What did I last use it for? Yeah yeah…I cut that rat into small pieces…I remember. Man! I can still remember things! Okay, enough celebrations, I need to find the blade. What did I do of the rat parts? I think put them under the mattress-that’s where I put things. Lemme check. Yeah there they are…goddamn these fleas-where do they come from…my lord! So many of them! Haah! Where is the blade…there! I got it! Good work dog! Yeah so lemme get back to work, such an important task and I am already running late. Yeah where should I start…face? No man, then how would I see what happened the mirror is lying to far away. Thighs? Nah, too much of hair down there- arm would be good. Hmm…how should I start, backwards or forwards? Is the blade good enough to work? Eh..this bloody dead spider, what does he want now? He lost his life, he must be happy somewhere up there, why isn’t he just letting me rot? Bloody dead spider, thinks too big of itself just because he has had got rid of the gnats and the fleas? Chuck it man the blade is good enough, lemme just drown this spider and make sure he dies if he still hasn,t. Water- I need water. The tap in not running, what crap, there is no water? Eh what do I do of this shit man? Eh nothing goes right here. The vein on my wrist is laughing? Why? Because it has more fluid than I have water at my disposal? What a fuck man. Let me drain some and join the spider there, its all over now. The blade is good enough and this spider shit would drown too…yeah, right.